The Year of the Dragon

I wish I could properly attribute this amazing work
of art. It was sent to me by a friend and I have
no clue where she found it!

It’s been nearly two months since I joined the ranks of America’s “unemployed” now. Between the holidays, a promising interview process that ended up not going where I hoped, and over a week of being stuck in bed with a high fever and the worse case of spins I’ve ever experienced, my life is finally starting to settle into a regular routine again.

The way I see it, just because I’m not punching in a time card doesn’t mean I don’t have any way to effectively employ my time. In fact, I often complained that my previous work schedule made it all but impossible for me to do what I really wanted to do with my life: Write and have the freedom to make a real difference in the lives of others.

I came to a decision last week when I was finally able to force my brain to focus on something other than the spiraling palm tree in the corner of my living room. I’ve been given a rare gift in the form of time and I could either spend it applying for job after job that I would only halfheartedly enjoy while worrying how to make ends meet, or I could spend the same amount of time looking for opportunities to do what I love.

When it all comes down to it, my needs are currently covered and while there are no fancy vacations or wardrobe makeovers in my immediate future, I can afford a few simple niceties here and there. And really, that’s all I need to be comfortable. I’m also single, which means I don’t have a family constantly clamoring for me to attend to their needs — all of which means that I can literally spend the majority of my day writing without feeling completely guilty about it. Talk about a major blessing! (I also have more time to focus on my youth ministry, which has been another incredible experience in itself.)

As I write this I’m finishing up the final stages of preparing to work on a pretty exciting project with someone I made a random connection with via Twitter a couple of years ago, which has since turned into a friendship. I just sent off a proposal for an article to a youth magazine I follow, and am waiting to hear back from the editor. And I’ve been added to the mailing list to receive the next batch of editorial topics for another magazine I hope to be able to write for. Add to that, I’ve joined a freelance board and have bid on a couple other small writing projects that I hope will eventually lead to some additional lines in my writer’s resume. Right now it’s all speculative, but when a farmer plants his fields he has no guarantee of a abundant harvest either.

I’ve been an editor for ten years now with dreams of being a writer who does more that sketches ideas and has an occasional short piece published. Now that I have the chance to do so I don’t want to miss out. None of this will come easy. It’s going to require all lot of dedication and sacrifice on my part. I just have to believe that this is a dream ultimately worth pursuing day after day after day.

Could I end up falling flat on my face? Of course! Could this end up being an unmitigated disaster? Possibly. But it’s a risk I have to be willing to take. And I am.

I think it’s fitting that the first day of my new routine happened to fall on the Chinese New Year. Though I can’t claim any connection to their culture, it’s a new year for me too. The fact that it’s the year of the dragon — a symbol that represents strength, courage, and fierce determination to me — is an added bonus.

The year ahead will be filled with challenges. But I am ready to face them head on. How about you?  

When Endings lead to Beginnings

I just crossed a first off of life’s list this morning: I filed my initial claim for unemployment. Being jobless is a box I would rather not have checked, but at the same time I am confident this is a moment in time that is going to afford me new opportunities and it reminds me I have a lot to be thankful for.

First, I got to work closely with my family for ten out of the sixteen years we published. I got to watch my dad’s dream grow into a magazine that was enjoyed by a lot of people from various walks of life. I had a job in my chosen career field while I was in college. And I have been able to continue growing my skills in the years since.

As hard as it is to see something you’ve put so much effort into building fade into a memory, and as much as it stinks that we had to make this decision during a season that’s supposed to be merry and bright, it seems fitting that closing the doors at Model Railroad News comes at the end of the year.  A lot of people think 2012 will be the year the world ends. Personally, I’m looking at it as a year of beginnings.

It’s a universal truth: In order for new beginnings to take place, there has to be endings. A seed has to die for a flower to grow. The flower blooms and withers to create a new seed. A caterpillar has to enter the chrysalis and shed its former self in order to emerge a butterfly. I sometimes wonder: If the seed and the caterpillar could think and feel the way humans do, would there be fear or doubt as they enter their metamorphosis?

In nature, change is just a part of the life cycle. For humans, its something we tend to shun.  We may not necessarily like where we are in life, but it’s what we know  — and there is comfort in familiarity. But if our routine never changes we face stagnation. I’ve come to the conclusion that just as stagnation results in death in nature, it’s deadly for the human soul as well.

Like so many others without a steady job right now, I have absolutely no idea what’s next. Maybe I’m insane. Maybe I’m still in shock. But I’m excited. There is an entire realm of possibility available to me now. There are new challenges to face. New lessons to learn. And new adventures to be had.

In The Hobbit, Bilbo Baggins tells Gandalf that adventures are horribly uncomfortable things and he was happy to stay in his hobbit home for the rest of his life. Gandalf in his wisdom recognizes these to be the words of someone who isn’t as content about his life as he claims, but rather who is too afraid to step out his front door. Of all the companions who journeyed to the Lonely Mountain, Bilbo was the most bold and vigilant. While the others got discouraged and lost their way, he came to life. The only thing he’d needed was a good nudge in the right direction to get him moving.

I see myself the same way. I’ve always dreamed of visiting the unknown but have hesitated to step over the threshold, and I have often used my job and my family as my excuse. Like Bilbo, I now find myself running out the door without any clue of where I’m going. I may meet some trolls, goblins, elves, and dragons along the way, but they’ll give me some interesting stories to tell. And I can’t wait to share them. You never know who those tales will inspire!

Note to self: It’s pretty cold out there right now. Remember your hat!