The Writer’s Competition

Last night, one of my middle school students posted the following on her Facebook page: Running, it’s hard to understand in the beginning that the whole idea is not to beat the other runners. Eventually you learn that the competition is against the voice inside you that wants to quit.

Thanks to a quick internet search I discovered the quote originated with Dr. George Sheehan who played a large role in the “running boom” of the 1970s. As I read through the quote again, I was struck at how true it is for writers as well. In the very beginning we’re struck with a bug. We can’t write long enough or fast enough. We envision great rewards without realizing just how many challenges we’re going to have to face first. It doesn’t take us very long for us to start puffing and wondering what we were thinking. In that moment we glean our first insight into just how difficult writing actually is and before long we join every other writer in history who questioned their abilities, their motives, and their resolve.

In the years since I started writing I’ve heard and expressed many of the same frustrations with how difficult the road to being published is. I’ve complained about the agents, editors, and publishers who guard the gates to the world of my dreams. I’ve picked up books and after reading a few pages wonder how the author was chosen over my own when my work was clearly superior. But worse is when I open the cover of a title by one of my favorite authors and think, I’ll never be able to write like this so why do I even bother?

Having people whose work I admire can serve as inspiration, but taken too far it becomes a liability. I tend to forget there was nothing magical about what they did to reach the top. They were (and are) simply individuals with a dream who refused to take their eyes off of their personal victory line. They realized they weren’t competing with anyone but the voice in their head that said to give up, and they refused.

I’ve revised Dr. Sheehan’s words and placed them on my quote board as a daily reminder to myself:

It’s very hard in the beginning to understand that the whole idea is not to beat the other writers. Eventually you learn that the competition is against the little voice inside you that wants you to quit.

As any seasoned runner will tell you, that competition never changes. They have to face and overcome that same little voice every time they take their mark. It’s no different with writers. Just as with racing, there are many writers striving towards the same goal and just as with the race there will be those who excel and break records, those who lag behind at first but finish strong with their heads held high. And then there will be those who become so fixated on how inadequate they are when compared to others, they will barely make it to the first bend before giving up and walking off the track listening to that little voice crowing, “I told you so!”

The question I have to decide for myself is: Which one of the racers am I?

Which one are you?

When Facing Critics

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Prov 15:1

I make my living as an editor for a small hobby magazine, which puts me into contact with a wide variety of people. Some are a joy to work with, others make me want to run and hide when I see their names pop up on my caller ID or in my inbox. And then there are the strangers who seem to wake up wondering what they can do to ruin some poor unsuspecting editor’s day.

One of my biggest frustrations as both a writer and an editor is that no matter how careful I am, and no matter how hard I try, there are always going to be mistakes that make it through to the final publication. It’s just going to happen. For example, a couple summers ago, a copy of an issue hot off the press landed on my desk. My heart sank as I saw the headline for a new product announcement that read: New Screensaver for Widow’s Users. It’s amazing what a difference that missing “N” made. I also once allowed for a “Grave Crossing” rather than a “Grade Crossing” to be announced.

I’m a perfectionist by nature. In college I was the student who re-read the graded papers that had just been handed back to me and marked up all the mistakes I’d missed (and that my professor hadn’t circled). There was a time when I would beat myself mercilessly for those sorts of mistakes. I still cringe, but I’ve come to accept that they’re part of life now. What I still struggle with, however, is coming into work and finding a message from a reader who has taken it upon himself to “educate” me in the matters of copy editing and wonders where I got my education from.

In those moments, it feels as if a monster awakens inside. I want to lash right back at him, perhaps taking his eyes and tongue as retribution for his cruelty. It’s so much easier to get sarcastic, to hurl back an insult and point out the misspellings in his own message. Instead, I force myself to close the e-mail and take a quick walk to cool down. I’ve discovered the truth in the above proverb. When I enter a verbal sparing match I don’t just lose face, I end up wasting valuable time that could be better utilized elsewhere. And the stress simply isn’t worth it.

So rather than allowing the message in my inbox to ruin my day today, I chose to thank the gentleman for catching what I’d missed and wished him a wonderful week. I ended up being pleasantly surprised by a generous response.

This lesson can also be applied to other areas of my writing. By and large I get positive responses to articles I’ve published, but from time to time I do get a reader who disagrees with my point of view. And that’s okay. As long as I remember I’m not writing for my personal ego and that I represent something greater, kind responses to these situations become more natural. And who knows, how I respond could result in my harshest critic becoming my staunchest supporter.